


Never should have

by wanderingdreams



Series: Stay with me [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Coming of Age, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Relationships, F/F, F/M, First Time writing Smut, Friends With Benefits, Highschool AU, Loss of Innocence, M/M, Meaningless Sex, Modern AU, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sex, Smut, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, sort of, violence later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:59:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2410793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingdreams/pseuds/wanderingdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Typical high school AU where Krista a pretty average eleventh grader new to the life of parties, alcohol and sex. At her first college house party she meets a mesmerizing brunette who turns her life upside down, tears it apart and who is also the only one who she wants to fix it. </p><p>A sort of coming of age story where Krista learns what it means to become a woman, and face all the drama that she never wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Alright-o I finally got enough motivation to actually start writing my first fanfic. So why not about these two heartbreaking lesbians and a bunch of other people too ?? The relationships in this story are extremely complicated.

The base was reverberating loudly in Krista's ears while she squirmed her way through the cramped house. Somehow, even though the building was quite large it was filled to the brim with sweaty, alcohol fueled twenty-somethings and she was struggling to find her brown-haired best friend. Krista was starting to wish that she hadn't let Sasha talk her into coming to this party. She decided to refill her blue, plastic cup before continuing with her search. The purple "punch" was no doubt spiked with vodka or something else, but she thought that it was better than sipping clean alcohol at least.

It was only in this year that she had started drinking and she still wasn't used to it. She wasn't a lightweight anymore, but she couldn't drink anyone in this house under the table either. Her cup flew into the air as she screamed, hands quickly attacking her sides in a full on tickling assault. "Hahahaha !! Oh my God, I got you so bad !!!" She turned around to see Sasha, just about rolling on the floor from laughter. Krista wanted to be angry but she just could not get it right, Sasha was her best friend after all. Speaking of Sasha, she had recovered and was quickly filling two shooter glasses with a clear liquid and was handing one of the small glasses to Krista, "Bottoms up !" and with that both of them threw their heads back and swallowed. It burned going down Krista's throat and she shivered, if it wasn't for the buzz she received she probably would have vomited.

"Where's Connie ?" she inquired while Sasha filled their glasses once more. "I don't know, he's most likely playing beer pong with Eren and Reiner. Here, one more." she turned around and gave Krista her glass. They emptied them and Sasha took Krista's hand, pulling her along towards the west side of the house, where they were most likely to find Connie, Sasha's boyfriend who was in college. It just so happened to be his party hence the two girls' presence. Krista never thought that she would be attending a college party but ever since she and Sasha had met Connie, Eren, Reiner and Jean her life had become much more exciting. Connie and Sasha had immediately taken a liking to each other and after a bit more than six months later they were dating. Krista noticed that Reiner seemed quite interested in her but she didn't see herself going down that road. She remembered the talk she had with Sasha a while after she was pretty sure she had figured out her sexuality. She was glad that Sasha had accepted her, she didn't know what she would do if her best friend-or only friend had rejected her.

 

"God no ! I could never hate you Krista !" it almost looked like Sasha might start crying, Krista knew she would probably also start crying soon. Sasha grabbed her in a tight hug and let go. "So if you don't mind me asking, what then are you ?" she paused and bit her lip, "I think I'd be able to support you better if I more or less understood your sexuality. I really want to be there for you and I don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable, but maybe you could explain to me ?" Krista was prepared for this question but she first had to figure out how to word her response. "Okay uhm so the best way I can explain this, so you know when you buy a pair of jeans ?" she began her explanation. "Yeah." Sasha replied, her interest was peaked and Krista felt at ease. Sasha was her best friend and Krista knew now that she wouldn't be judged.

"Okay so you know when you get your first pear of jeans yeah ? So can you remember when you got it ? You wore it all the time and it was the only pair of jeans you thought that you were ever gonna wear. It felt so comfortable to wear it, now think of that pair as straight, I wore it for most of my life cause it's the only pair of jeans that I thought there was for me. So about two years ago I found out that there are other jeans out there, I discovered that my old jeans didn't fit me anymore. I fell in love with my best friend at the time, and even though I felt wrong for liking a girl I couldn't stop myself from loving her. So for a long time I thought that I was only into girls, so I wore a new pair of jeans cause it felt great. And a while after that I questioned my sexuality once again, so I did research and whatever and I realized that I am pansexual. Yet again another pair of jeans. This time this pair felt amazing, it felt so perfect and comfortable, like a second skin almost. I knew that this was the one that I was looking for." Krista sighed after that, not from exhaustion but from feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"I think I understand more or less now." Sasha smiled and held Krista's hand, squeezing. Krista smiled and continued, "I'm so relieved." she hugged Sasha then and added "so what I'm trying to say is, it was just like fitting on jeans and finding the right one for me. It took a while but I got there."

Sasha shifted in her seat and opened her mouth, she closed it again before saying anything. "What does pansexual mean then ?" 

"When I Googled it, it said that it means that someone who is pansexual is attracted to someone else regardless of their gender. And when I thought about it I realized that it was true, I like someone for them and what's in their pants doesn't make a difference." she laughed after that "Wow I rambled didn't I ?" Sasha laughed as well, "Not at all ! I totally understand now and I'm glad that you shared it with me, I feel that we can be even closer friends now. You are my best friend and nothing will ever change that."

 

Krista's flashback ended then, when someone wrapped their arms around her waist. Although the person was behind her she knew who it was, he had beefy arms and was miles taller than her, it was Reiner. He lowered his head till his mouth was right by her ear, his breath was hot and damp and it made her shiver, "You look so sexy babe." he breathed out before his one hand slipped lower down her stomach. "Did you put on this short skirt just for me ?" he chuckled and kissed her neck, sighing, he made her shiver again. Krista breathed out and bit her lip. She felt hot and thirsty and asked Reiner to get her another drink. He let go of her and twirled her around to face him, then he lifted her chin and kissed her. His other hand snaked around her waist and pulled her tight against him, caught by surprise she returned the kiss in her tipsy state. Krista had her first kiss earlier this year and she was still unsure if she could do it right, Reiner didn't stop to complain so she figured she couldn't be that bad. When Krista looked for her friend she saw her over by the table where Connie and a group of other people were. She made her way through the crowd and jumped onto Eren's back. 

"What the fuck ?" he yelled out, the ball flew out of his hand and missed all of the cups on the opposite side of the table. Connie and Jean laughed, "Bottoms up Yeager !" Jean whooped. "Fuck you Kirstein !" was Eren's response, although they were part of the same friend group Eren and Jean hated each other, no one knew why, Krista wondered if they even knew, they just did. 

"Krista !" Eren smiled then, he cooled down when he realized it was her, she was still on his back and he reached behind to grip her thigh, steadying her on his back. "Here, drink this." he handed her the glass of beer and she chugged it down. She was becoming increasingly aware of his hand on the bottom of her thigh and she could feel the heat between her legs growing. Krista was inexperienced in the area of sex but that didn't stop her from wanting it. She had never really gone very far from kissing and touching and she was eager to find out what it was like. While Eren continued with the game she decided to test the waters,she started kissing the back of his neck, sucking on the skin that was exposed between his hair and the collar of his shirt. His body stiffened a bit and he gripped her thigh tighter, sliding his hand farther up her thigh making her shiver in delight. She squirmed on his back pressing herself closer to him and he grunted quietly. "Krista, let me quickly finish this game then we can go somewhere kay ?" he let her down from his back and squeezed her thigh again, she nodded and leaned against the wall next to him. Reiner had returned with a drink for her and he decided to rest next to her. She knew that after they kissed earlier Reiner thought that something might happen, but that just wasn't the case. She knew that what she was doing was probably wrong but she couldn't keep her eyes off of Eren, and he noticed because he kept stealing glances at her as well. Reiner was still next to her and he hadn't seem to notice her disinterest because he kept trying to sneak his arms around her waist.

Eren winked at Krista and motioned his head towards the archway on the other side of the room that led to the bed-and bathrooms. She gulped and glanced towards Reiner's form simultaneously downing the contents of her glass. "Please excuse me, I need to go pee." he grabbed her hand "Don't be long now babe." he winked at her and released her hand. She turned around and left towards the direction of the bathroom, she quickly ran in and relieved her bladder before Eren arrived, she felt a bit nervous but gulped it down when he took her hand and led her down the hall to a small room with a big window in the furthest wall, it protruded from the wall and there was a small ledge inside the room where one could sit. He took her over to the window and it was high enough that she could just lean back and sit down. He stood in front of her and moved between her legs, she felt her breath hitch as he came closer. She was scared that she would somehow mess something up and be humiliated. He leaned in and planted his lips on hers and she relaxed, kissing him back.

Krista's hands first rested on his shoulders and his rested on her thighs, he deepened the kiss and bit her lip wanting her to open her mouth, she curled her arms around his neck and pulled closer to him. She wanted to feel him touch her, kiss her, she wanted him badly. Krista opened her mouth and let him in, tasting his tongue. He rubbed her thighs, slipping his hands under her skirt making her whimper. He played with the elastic of her panties and she gasped loudly, grabbing his hand and stopping him from going further. "Krista what's wrong ?" he pulled away, looking concerned. "Do you wanna stop ?" he took her chin in his hand and kissed her forehead. "No no I'm fine, I'm just a bit nervous I guess." she looked away from him blushing. "If you don't want me to do anything I won't." he reassured her, smiling. "It's just that I've never really done more than kissing." she whispered "I didn't want you to think that I'm some little inexperienced girl."

"Hey" he took her hands, "I won't think that, you don't have to do something you don't want to." he smiled at her once again.

"No, I-I want to, I want you."

With that they threw hesitation out the window, he grabbed her tightly and kissed her deeply. She threw herself into him, biting his lip and tugging at his shirt. Eren moaned quietly, pulling away from Krista only for a moment to remove his shirt. She felt his hot skin under her touch and that urged her on, she peppered kisses down from his collar bones to his abdomen making him gasp in answer. He fiddled with the buttons on Krista's shirt until he finally managed to get them all undone. She gasped when he shrugged her shirt off her shoulders, kissing and nibbling at the soft skin. He sucked and kissed his way to her neck where he found the perfect spot that drove her crazy. A moan escaped her lips then, making her blush. Krista raked her nails down his spine wanting him closer, she wanted his mouth harder on her skin. Eren shivered and continued with his assault on her skin.

The music could be faintly heard through the closed door but it didn't bother either of them much, they were too wrapped up in each others heat and their own want. Both of them were shirtless and quietly panting in the small room, stealing kisses, gasping for breath, feeling each other under their palms. The air around them was hot and heavy which contributed to the shedding of their remaining clothes. Krista had loosened his belt buckle and pushed his pants down, palming him through his underwear. "Fu-fuck Krista." Eren moaned and dropped his head on her shoulder. Her face reddened as she continued. "Keep going." he begged before capturing her lips in his again. Krista moaned with a nervous smile pulling on her lips when Eren gripped her underwear and pulled it down, he slipped it off her legs and dropped it on the floor. His hand traveled up her thigh once more until he felt the wet heat at her core "Oh God Krista... so.. wet." was all she could make out. Her head was spinning and she couldn't keep herself from vocalizing her pleasure "E-Eren please."

Eren dipped his fingers into her soft warmth and she gasped loudly, she was unprepared for the way that he worked his fingers inside her. It was a mix of burning pain and utter delight unlike anything she had felt before. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly as he curled and uncurled his fingers inside of her. He grunted loudly and wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her impossibly close to him and driving his fingers deeper into her. She cried out and tried to close her legs, only succeeding in pushing him closer to her. Krista could feel his hard bulge pressing into her thigh and it made her quiver in excitement. He started pumping his fingers faster in and out of her, her breathed hitched in her throat and she locked his lips in a desperate kiss. "Eren I-I can't hold it anymore." she whimpered and felt his fingers withdraw from her. 

"Krista are you sure you wanna ?" he seemed genuinely concerned about whether or not they would continue. "Please don't stop now." she breathed out. Eren let go of her to reach for his pants, he got out a condom and rolled it onto his shaft. Krista squirmed while watching on at this display, she decided to quickly lock lips with him again. This time it was slow and soft, their lips grazed ever so slightly before pulling away and crashing together again. He kissed down her neck and collar bones towards the valley that her breasts made. She wriggled and moaned his name causing his already stiff erection to harden even further. "O-okay I'm gonna put it in.." he sighed and positioned himself at her entrance. She went rigid as he pushed himself in, she tightened around his thick erection making him groan. He gripped her hips tightly and pulled her closer, skin hot and slick stuck to each other "Does it hurt ?" he gasped into her ear. She nodded "Yeah." groaning "but keep going." She tangled her one hand in his soft locks, the other held on tightly around his neck. Krista kissed him softly on the lips, he pulled out and thrust back into her tight warmth.

It was the first time that Krista had felt such a contradictory set of feelings, the pain was unbearable at first but she also didn't want to stop feeling the pleasure that came with it, she felt overwhelmingly hot and cold at the same time. Her oncoming orgasm was building inside her stomach and Krista could feel the heat shooting to all the parts of her body. Eren was pounding into her, every time he withdrew and thrusted back into it hurt a little less and the place he was hitting inside her gave her more pleasure. She bit her lip and tried to focus on the pleasure she felt and not the pain. Both of them were breathing loudly, gasping and breathing out the others' name. "Krista I, I'm close." he groaned during a particularly deep thrust, it felt like her lower abdomen was going to explode and tears formed in her eyes. She groaned his name out then, the heat inside of her stomach had exploded and pleasure took over her body, the raw sensation she felt inside was forgotten and she was unable to say or do anything but arch herself as far into him as possible. He groaned under his breath, his thrusts becoming sloppy and erratic, she was so tight around him and so hot against him, he pounded once more and reached his climax in a exhale of curse words.

They stayed that way for a while, the air was still thick and both of them panted until they were breathing normally. Eren was still throbbing inside of her but she was so tired she could hardly move. After a few minutes he removed himself from her and got dressed, he picked up her clothes and helped her to get dressed again. "That was..." Krista softly whispered. Eren smirked and kissed her softly on the lips, he pulled her into a tight hug and they just sat there. She still felt a little sweaty and her insides pained and at that moment she realized that she was no longer a virgin.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i'm still super pumped for this story, and some people might be wondering about the pairings so far but lose not faith ye hopeful lesbian lovers !!
> 
> also music has been a big inspiration for this story and the plot/storyline, sooo ya'll might wanna listen to this tune over here: route 94 my love ft jess glynne, and maybe check out the video. I imagine this song to be playing after they have sex and she leaves the room.

Why ? 

Why ? Why? Why?

It had been about a week since Connie's party. A week since she had sex with Eren. It had been a week since she met that girl, that one girl that changed her life in a millisecond of entering it. Krista felt like throwing up, still after almost a week, she couldn't help feeling that she hated herself, or rather that she should hate herself. She felt wrong, certainly she did, she had lost her virginity during a moment of impulse, it was the one thing that she wanted to keep special but at the same time get rid of. Krista knew that she was no angel, she knew that every time she got drunk it was just a way to escape. She needed escape, from school, her mother, her mind and she found the solace that she wanted in alcohol. She laughed despite herself, thinking that just because her virginity was the only thing she had left made it special ? She had let go of everything else during her boozed-up encounters, so why ? Why did she care so much about this ?

Or maybe it wasn't so much the fact that she had given up her V-card to Eren, she did like him, he was sweet and kind and funny, he made her laugh and that was what Krista wanted. He noticed her, especially when she thought that no one else did, or would.

Maybe it was after they left that small, humid room. After they had sat there for who knows how long, Eren got up and took Krista's hand leading her down the hall, back into the noise of the party. At that moment all that she wanted was to be alone, the music was creeping into her brain, pounding and pushing making her think back to only a few minutes ago when she and Eren had been together. She could feel a dull pain in her stomach and she wanted to cry, was that all that was going to happen between them ? Krista couldn't take it anymore, the music, the pain, her own thoughts, the darkness that was creeping into her brain again, she didn't want to think about anymore of it during her stay at the party so she found her her way to her comfort. The bar. She poured a glass and downed it, it tasted vile and glorious simultaneously and she poured another.

Krista walked through the house to where she last saw her friend she started to lose herself in the rhythm of the music, the way she swayed her hips, how people were dancing and grinding up against each other, all shyness lost as they were caught up in the heat stealing kisses and touches while nobody seemed to care. She forgot about the pain between her legs and in her head, forgot about the feeling of self loathing that had started to grow inside her once more. She let it all go, she drank from her glass and forgot. So caught up in the music was she, that she didn't notice Connie and her best friend sneak off to a part of the house, maybe for a drunken tryst of their own. Although Sasha wasn't one to put out so easily Krista wouldn't put it past Connie to try, whatever they ended up doing Krista wasn't one to judge.

So she stayed there in the crowd, moving and swaying, drinking her thoughts away. Krista had finished her glass and went to dispose of it, at the bar she could feel someone staring at her. It left a hot prickling sensation all over her skin and she wanted to find out who it was. After putting her glass down she slowly turned in a circle, scanning the crowd hoping to see someone looking back at her. She had no such luck, she decided to leave the crowded lounge heading for the bathroom and just as Krista grazed the corner she saw her. 

The noose had tightened around her neck right then, like a cheetah that was chasing a buck she was caught in the amazon's gaze. Krista actually had to look up to look into her eyes. The girl was tall with enticing brown eyes that pulled her in, her hair was a few shades darker of a brown than her tanned skin. Krista stared at her lean figure, lean but toned, she could see the defined lines under the vest that the tall, dark stranger was wearing. The longer Krista stared at her, the longer she stared right back, refusing to be the first to look away. Krista felt something in her chest that she hadn't felt before, it wasn't butterflies for she did not feel nervous at all but at ease. She felt hot all over and felt a rush from her lower back up to her neck. And as soon as Krista had seen this beauty that had noticed her and lured her in, she lost sight of her again.

She couldn't tell if the last few minutes were reality or just part of her drunken haze but her bladder was pressing her and it couldn't wait, she continued to her intended destination. She curse when she saw blood on the toilet paper and continued wiping until she was halfway sure there was no more blood. Before she left she splashed her face with water, the night was still young and there was still plenty of vodka she thought to herself. A morose chuckle escaped her before she exited. The hallway was quite dark considering that the rest of the house was moderately lit and it made for the perfect place to bump into the beauty she glimpsed earlier. Krista was not sure if it was by accident or the intentions of the brunette but she did not mind either way. She turned to leave the hall and her back was now towards the other girl, that gave her the chance she hoped for. Toned arms reached around Krista's waist and pulled her quickly closer, she yelped and felt hot breath in her neck, she felt strangely but somehow also naturally aroused, as if they had been partners for years. The stranger twirled her around and grasped Krista tightly against herself, she stared at Krista now, boring deep into her eyes making the small blonde squirm in excitement. Who was this girl that looked so deeply into her ? This stranger that held her like it felt a lover should ? She was willing to find out.

The brunette had lifted her up and pushed her against the wall, Krista closed her legs around the girl's waist and despite herself she could feel the heat starting between her legs. She breathed out heavily as the tall stranger's hands traveled up the back of her shirt, Krista anchored her hands in brown locks while her neck was barraged in a flurry of kissing and sucking, licking and biting. She knew what the girl was doing, she was drawing blood to the surface of Krista's skin, leaving red marks along her neck. This alone was enough to get Krista wet if it wasn't for the fact that the brunette had started pushing her hips up into Krista and oh God did she want to moan, she wanted to rip of this mesmerizing figures' shirt and feel her hot skin under her palms. Krista caught herself in her thoughts, what was she thinking ? Did she forget what she had done only a while back ? She cursed herself, she knew she was going to hate herself tomorrow but she couldn't pass up this girl, no one has made her feel like this before. So she decided to kick the events from earlier to the back of her mind.

"Wh-what's your name ?" she asked, her breath wavering. The brunette ignored and continued her path, kissing up Krista's neck till she got to her lips. Then they connected, it was enticing, electrifying, static when their lips touched. Time seemed to literally stop and Krista wanted more. She pulled the tanned Aphrodite closer and kissed her with everything she had in her. Finally their lips left each others' and she heaved for air. "What's your name ?" she tried again. The brunette's mouth pulled up in a sexy, lop-sided grin and she hotly whispered into Krista's ear "Ymir." and with that she dropped Krista onto the floor and tugged her into the closest room. Inside with the door shut, Ymir made quick work of getting Krista to sit on the bed and kneeled between the legs of the small golden headed girl. "Wait, what's going on ?" Krista meekly protested when Ymir lifted her skirt and ran her hands up Krista's pale thighs, she exhaled slowly. "Me think the lady doth protest too much." it was the first sentence Ymir spoke to her, all the while pulling Krista's panties down her legs. "That's not an answe- oh .. oh." the blonde girl was ready to protest again but Ymir's hot breath fanned over her open legs and she quickly shut her mouth. Ymir took this as a yes to continue and she kissed her way from Krista's knee all the way up to her milky thigh and started on the opposite leg. Krista's heart had started hammering in her chest and her breaths were shallow, her fingers curling the blanket tightly while Ymir licked a slow stripe up between her lips. Krista shut her eyes and tried to focus, "Please just-just stop and wait." she placed her fingers under Ymir's chin and pulled the brunette towards her. "What is happening ?" she asked exasperatedly. "Well I thought I was going to eat you out but I guess not." She dead panned and licked her lips. "But why would you want to ?" Krista kept questioning, "Cause when I see something I want, I take it."

Krista's phone beeped then and she gladly removed it from her pocket, it was a message from Sasha but she didn't get time to read before Ymir took it from her hands. 

"What the fuck ?! Why'd you take my phone ?" the blonde demanded.

"It's distracting." Ymir shoved the phone in her back pocket, "now where were we ?" she grinned and returned to the warmth between Krista's legs. She massaged Krista's thighs with her thumbs while she started working the gold haired beauty's clit with her tongue. Krista squeaked making Ymir laugh, the vibrations ran straight from her core into the pit of her stomach and heat started pooling there. Krista instinctively tried to clamp her legs around Ymir's head but the brunette kept them open. She hummed into Krista's folds while digging her tongue deep into Krista's warm depth, she arched her back and plunged her hand into brown locks. Ymir let go of one of Krista's thighs and her free hand traveled to said blonde's clit, massaging it to the rhythm of her tongue in and out of Krista's tight opening. Krista had already exploded once and she was quickly on her way to the second instance, that was if Ymir kept doing what she did. Krista was starting to feel overwhelmed, her stomach had started clenching again and the heat was traveling from her opening to her fingers and toes. She couldn't help but push Ymir's mouth closer to her wet folds, she couldn't stop know, not when she was so close. Ymir was rubbing her clit harder, curling her tongue inside Krista. Krista's hips self assuredly bucked into Ymir's face and it was like ecstasy to have this brunette bombshell's face between her legs. Krista had started to see stars and a slurry of oh fuck and gasps rained from her lips before she reached her orgasm. She clenched her eyes tight and rode out her orgasm still pulling Ymir's face into her. Krista fell back onto the bed, exhausted. Her chest was heaving and her legs were jelly.

She only snapped back to reality when she felt the bed dip on either sides of her, Ymir was hovering over her. "I want you taste how good you taste." and she softly kissed Krista, quickly though it deepened and their tongues were intertwining once more. Ymir lowered herself onto Krista and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. Krista struggled for air but she didn't want to stop kissing Ymir. As quickly as the kiss had started it ended, Ymir got up and threw something onto the bed before blowing Krista a kiss and leaving her alone.

It was Krista's phone, right after she picked it up the ringtone played, before answering she checked the caller ID. On the screen was Ymir's name with a heart next to it. She hesitated to answer but did anyway. "Hey sexy." Ymir rasped "you taste so fucking good, can't wait to taste to again." And with that she dropped the call. Krista was still trying to form a response in her head, too late for that now. She scrolled through her call history and saw that she called a new number only a few minutes ago, the number was Ymir's.

Krista's night so far had been a ride from start to finish. She gathered herself and got off the bed, or at least tried to, as soon as her feet touched the ground she knew they were still jelly. So she sat there, contemplating the event's of the night. She had sex with Eren, and then this mysterious beauty that had just about rocked her world. Shouldn't she feel bad ? But all she felt was strangely empty. Krista just knew that she wasn't in the mood to hate herself just yet. So she thought about Ymir, where did she come from and why did she take an interest in Krista ? Ymir would probably forget about her in the morning and Krista would still be no-one important to anyone. Then she thought about Eren, he made her feel special, he made her laugh and he held her tightly, she thought that he might care for her. But did she even care about him ? Krista finally managed to get up and leave the room. just in time to bump into Sasha.

"Oh my God where were you !" Sasha laughed "I've been looking everywhere for you." 

"Yeah I'm sure you did" Krista smiled mischievously and prodded Sasha in the side making her laugh, "come on tell me what happened !" A red faced Sasha then recounted her sexual mishap to Krista, what she could make out between their laughing and the music was that Connie and Sasha were going to have sex but Connie slipped while trying to put the condom on. He then plummeted to the floor and pulled Sasha with him, she in turn bumped a small fish bowl, sance fish which soaked the both of them. This seemed to get them both hotter and even more bothered which led to them dry humping on the floor minus shirts when Jean walked in. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life !" Sasha continued to laugh and Krista felt a bit better about her own adventures of the evening. "I have something to tell you" she bit her lip and looked worriedly at her best friend, "but I don't want you to think bad of me for it." Sasha smiled softly at Krista and took her hand squeezing tightly.

"I had sex with Eren." she shut her eyes and waited for Sasha to tell her that she was disappointed, but she didn't. "But that's not all." She then proceeded to tell Sasha of both encounters and her best friend listened intently, she nodded and hummed and didn't look like she hated Krista's guts yet. She told Sasha about her first time with Eren and how nice it felt when they just sat and spoke afterwards, Krista also told Sasha about seeing Ymir and what happened after that, how she had never felt something like it when Ymir looked into her eyes and when she touched and kissed her. Krista elaborated about the kiss they shared when they were on the bed and the phone call. "So what do you think should I do ?" she looked desperately into Sasha's eyes for an answer. "It sounds to me like this Ymir chick just wants some no strings attached sort of thing." Sasha answered sternly, her reply made Krista wince slightly, even though she didn't know Ymir at all, she didn't want that to be the only reason that they would ever speak. "Connie says that Eren likes you and I think so too, I've seen how he looks at you and how he changes when talking to you, and earlier in the evening it seemed like you two really hit it off, after what you said he doesn't seem like a jackass that is just gonna fuck you and run. But do you feel anything for him ?" Sasha finished looking at her best friend.

"I think I like him, but I don't know ! He makes me feel special and I like that, he makes me laugh and he's really sweet and sexy. I like talking to him cause I feel like I can just say what I want to and he won't mind." Krista sighed out, "but when I saw her Sasha, you don't understand, and when we kissed it was like time froze, it was electric. Why can't I just know what to do and who to choose ?"

Sasha chuckled "Okay I've never been in your situation, so I don't really know what to say to you here but if you really like Eren I think you should go for it. And if you want to fuck around with Ymir when she feels like seeing you, be my guest, I'm not gonna stop you. It's about how you feel inside and what you want, what your heart and your brain, and your hormones tell you. Krista, I just don't want you to get hurt, you are my best friend, like my sister, and if you decide that you want them both I'll be waiting to either comfort you or celebrate with you, whatever it is you want to do." Krista smiled, how could she have been blessed with such an amazing friend ? She hugged Sasha tightly "You really are the best ! I don't know what I did to deserve you."

Sasha giggled, "Me either hey." she hugged Krista, "come on, let's go get some more drinks."

They left for the bar and Krista surprisingly felt better about herself. At the bar she saw Eren again and he didn't hesitate to wrap her up in his arms. She immediately felt warm and happy, and automatically smiled. He held her tightly and kissed her neck, her cheeks and then her lips. "So what have you been up to beautiful ?" he smiled at her. "Nothing really, just wandering around the party." Krista didn't dare tell him about what happened after hey separated. Sasha left to go find Connie and Krista and Eren stayed there, sitting on a sofa, close together while they talked about everything. They laughed a lot and stole a few kisses in between, Krista felt so close to him and she thoroughly enjoyed just sitting there and talking to him.

A few hours later it was time to wrap up the festivities and time for everyone to go home. Krista said farewell to Eren and got up, only to be pulled back onto his lap, he snaked his arms around her waist and kissed her deeply. Krista smiled during the kiss and she felt that he was smiling too. The kiss broke and they got up, Eren walked to the door with her and gave her a final good bye kiss. "I'll message you tomorrow." he smiled, hugged her tightly and she left. Krista was beaming when she left, she skipped down the steps towards the path when someone grabbed her from the side. She yelled, startled but realized who it was when Ymir's hands glided over her sides.

"Now angel, were you gonna leave without saying good bye ?" Ymir chuckled and twirled Krista around. Krista gulped before Ymir's lips crashed onto hers. She couldn't resist and returned the kiss with fervour. She tasted booze and smoke on Ymir's tongue and pushed her away. Did she only find interest in Krista because she was drunk ? Krista didn't want to think about it.

Sasha finally exited the house and Krista sighed in relief, they linked arms and walked home. And Krista was free to empty her mind for a little longer.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i am so ashamed, i have not updated in ages, i am really sorry, i was dealing with a lot of shit. but i promise i will try update more regularly. I cannot believe some of the nice things that readers have said :) I never thought that anyone would like the story but i'm so glad. So here is the next chapter :)

Blue eyes cracked open, woken by an incessant buzzing. Krista grumbled, cursing whoever bothered her this early in the morning. She picked her phone up and stumbled out of bed. "Shit, shi- !" she tripped over the carpet and fell down, "Ow ow ow ow ow."

She rubbed her knee before checking the time again, she was extremely late and her teacher was going to kill her. She hurriedly got up and ran to the bathroom to shower. After she got dressed and did her hair she quickly threw her books in her bag, got her phone and ran out the door. Once she got to school it was one mission after the other, get a late letter, get teacher to sign the letter and let her in the class, get absentee list and get her name taken off. By the time Krista actually got to class, the teacher was furious and sent her outside. She was waiting outside with the usual crowd who never finished their homework while checking her messages. She and Eren had been texting since the party.

From: Eren  
I'm so fuxking bored I might die, what r u doing ? <3

From: Kriiista  
I got sent out of class ... again -_-

From: Eren  
LMAOO why ?????

From: Kriiista  
Don't laugh XD I was late ... again

From: Eren  
Ure hilarious 

From: Kriiista  
YOUR spelling is hilarious 

From: Eren  
Ahaha w/e, can I come pick u up ?

From: Kriiista  
I'll get in trouble for skipping -_-

From: Eren  
Shhhhh, it's gonna be fiiine :D

From: Kriiista  
If you say so, see you then <3

From: Eren  
I'm on my way <3 ;)

Krista sighed, smiling widely. She wasn't used to this, talking to someone you like and doing things with them, it's only been a week but she liked spending time with Eren. They were taking it slow for the time being, Krista was worried that Eren would have a problem but he was really nice about it. She was looking out over the balcony when she heard someone screaming her name, it was Eren who was waiting on the ground floor.  
"Krista O Krista, wherefore art thou Krista ?" he bellowed up at the third floor, "Oh wait shit, I fucked it up !" he laughed when Krista's reddening face peeped over the edge of the balcony. At this rate the entire school was going to hear him and then she would definitely be in trouble.

"SHHHHHHHHHH !" she quickly started running down the stairs after the other kids started whistling, she was blushing heavily and her uniform was messy when she ran to Eren. He quickly threw his arms around her and picked her up. He aimed to kiss her but she turned her head and he caught her cheek, "Not at school ! Do you want me to get into even deeper shit ?" she laughed and hugged him tightly.

He carried her all the way to his car, opened the door and placed her gently on the seat. He got in his side and started the car, they left the school and aimlessly drove around while chatting about their days, how the weekend was, teachers they didn't like and Krista's upcoming exams. "You look sexy in your uniform, I'm going to miss it." he cheekily smiled at her deepening blush. 

While they were still driving around Eren gently placed his hand on Krista's knee, her body jolted at the contact and she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was staring straight at the road, only quickly stealing a glance at her before smiling that cheeky smile again. He squeezed her knee lightly before moving his hand further down her leg, her breath hitched and she grabbed onto the seat. The temperature in the car seemed to rise, Eren still ghosting his hand down her leg and squeezing at short intervals. Krista's breath started to quicken, the tension in the car and her body slowly building. They turned onto an empty street that was notorious for being a "lovers lane". Eren stopped the car and let go of Krista's leg to turn it off. Krista strangely felt nervous, sure they had sex together before but now she was sober and had no liquid courage. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a clank sound, Eren had moved his seat back. He smiled and handed her a little flask after taking a sip, she followed suit and took a swig. The taste of whiskey was on her lips when she gave the flask back. Eren put it away and turned to her. He ran his fingers through her hair and moved a few strands from her face, licking his lips as he moved closer to her.

Krista breathed deeply and leaned closer to Eren, their lips met softly and she exhaled sheepishly. Their lips parted and she tugged him closer, her hands gently on his neck. Eren breathed out a giggle and kissed her harder, he placed one hand on her hip and the other on her thigh. He wanted her closer, he wanted to kiss her deeply, bite her neck, touch her skin and taste her tongue. She felt Eren pulling her closer, she wanted to pull him impossibly close and feel him against her. She broke away for air and looked intently at him, he mirrored her before pulling her onto his lap. Krista gasped, quickly settling down, Eren's hands were tightly holding her hips and she plunged her lips onto his, licking and biting. He licked her bottom lip wanting her to open her mouth, she obliged and let him in, tasting his sweet tongue fighting with hers. Eren untucked her shirt, his hands quickly finding her milky soft skin and she sighed into his mouth, he quietly moaned and pushed her down into his stiffening cock. When Krista felt Eren's clothed erection she groaned, biting her lips before kissing his neck. She sprinkled little kisses on his skin, biting softly and sucking on the spot beneath his ear. Her name fell from his lips making her blush. He lifted her face up to his, pulling her to him to plant a messy kiss on her lips. Eren pulled away to unbutton her shirt, when it was opened he glided his palms over her sides and breasts, squeezing them before resting is hands on her thighs again. He rubbed them, going up and down and grabbing them tightly.

Krista shivered at the new contact, her entire body erupting in goosebumps. Eren pushed himself into her crotch, her breath caught in her throat and she threw her head back. "Fuck Krista, you're so hot." he blew out. He took hold of her hips and ground himself against her, she whimpered before holding onto his shoulders. Eren let go of her hips and moved to undo his zipper. Krista swallowed hard, she didn't know if she was ready to have sex again. She involuntarily moaned when his erection pressed into her and she blushed. Eren pressed his open mouth against her lips and she breathed into his mouth. "Eren I, I don't know if ... if I can do this right now." she quickly blurted and rested her head on his chest to hide her face. She felt him sigh and worried that he would be mad, she raised her head to look at him with a slightly annoyed look on his face. Krista hesitantly tried to get off his lap but he held her down. A slight nervousness set in and she could feel his skin hot on hers, she placed her palms gently on his chest, "I'm really sorry." she bit her lip. He tilted his head to plant a kiss softy on her lips. It was tender and sweet and she decided to take his hands in hers. "Look Krista I don't want you to feel that I'm pressuring you into anything, no matter how bad I want it if you don't want to do something I'm not gonna force you. I'm not a rapist." he breathed slowly and gave her a small smile.

She nodded and breathed heavily before kissing him lightly again. She got off his lap and put her shirt back on, he did the same and for a while they just sat there. The radio was playing softy and they just sat together in the car, holding hands and quietly enjoying each others company.

Krista mustered up her courage "Why me ?" she asked after a few minutes of silence. She didn't know why she asked that, but it was something that she wanted to know, why did he choose her when there are so many other prettier girls. 

"What do you mean ?" he turned to look at her, a puzzled looking bunching up his features.

"Why did you choose me when there are so many other prettier girls ?" she spoke her exact thoughts.

He giggled at her question, "Because you are beautiful and funny and there's something that I like a lot about you." He rubbed the back of his neck and laughed "That probably sounds cheesy, but it's the truth." He leaned in to kiss her forehead. "That's why you."

 

They got something to eat and spent the rest of the afternoon lying on the hood of Eren's car, pointing out funny shaped clouds and laughing. Krista found herself opening up about things that she wouldn't normally tell anyone. She felt close enough to Eren to trust him and feel safe in his presence, she could be vulnerable. She told him about her rocky relationship with her mother, how she couldn't wait to leave the house. In turn Eren told Krista about growing up in the same place and never seeing anything, how he wanted to travel the world. He told her that his mother died when he was young, and that his father was hardly ever home. She felt sad that he grew up so alone, with his adoptive sister Mikasa being the only person that really cared about him.

"I don't really know my father either." she sighed. "He was some really rich guy and still abandoned us." she swallowed before continuing, "My mother hated me after that, she blamed me for him leaving." a tear escaped her eye. "She said it was my fault and if I was gone he'd come back. So she tried to kill me once." Krista fell silent and wiped her nose. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that." Eren didn't say anything, all he did was wrap her in his arms, kissing the top of her head.

Truth is Eren didn't know what to say, Sasha and Connie never said anything about her family. How bad it must have been for her. "I don't think I can say much that'll help but your father was an asshole, and your mother is a fool. No one could ever look at you and decide to leave. You're a wonderful person." he tried his best to comfort her.

"Thank you." she whispered and kissed his cheek.

The sky started to turn beautiful shades of blue and purple. That was the signal that she should get home. Eren promised to drop her off and on the way to her house she entwined their fingers, staring out the window at the stars. Making a wish on the brightest one she could see. When they stopped at her house he wanted to walk her to her door but she politely refused. He wiggled his eyebrows at her and kissed her goodnight. She took a deep breath before opening the front door.

 

"You dumb bitch ! Do you think I'm fucking stupid ?" her mother screamed at her, striking her hard against the cheek. As soon as she had walked through the door she was greeted by her loving mother. 

She cried out, the force of the slap sent her flying into the wall, "No ! N-no I don't please don't hit me !" she covered her face with her arms. No sooner had her plea left her lips when her mother tightened a fist in Krista's hair and threw her on the floor. 

"I know you skipped school you little whore !" her mother spat, Krista was blocking her face with her arms so she was kicked in the ribs. The air was forced out of her lungs and tears stung her eyes. "Your teacher called me, he's also sick of your shit." Kick in the stomach. "He told me you left with some boy." her mother kicked her legs and stomach until she could hardly move, but she kept her head blocked. When her mother saw and kicked her arms. "Fucking slut."

Krista screamed in pain, "And you better not fucking go around letting people see any bruises on you or we'll add to the collection. Also if I hear you make a sound tonight I'll come beat the shit out of you again, I have a migraine and need my sleep so I won't have a bitch like you wake me." her mother snarled with venom in her words. she stayed still on the floor until she was certain her mother had left the room. Then she slumped against the wall in an effort to stand up. It took about fifteen minutes to get to her room where she collapsed on her bed, in tears and agony. Her phone vibrated and she saw that she had received a message from Eren, "Sleep tight <3." She sent back, "You too xx"

She dropped her phone and slowly removed her uniform all the while wincing in pain. Believe it or not, this wasn't even one of the worst times. When her mother got drunk it was even worse. She still had scars on her arms from where her mother burned her with cigarettes. Burning her on the underside of her biceps, cleverly ensuring that the scars were barely visible. After Krista attempted to take a bath and got dressed in pj's she slumped on her bed again. Opening her bedside drawer to look for the pain pills. Since she didn't have school the next day she swallowed down three pills and turned off the light, ready to sleep and forget the aches in her body.


	4. Update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys !! not really an update sorry X.X but I'm busy writing the next chapter and I"m planning on publishing it soon :D

Okay so I know it's been a long while since the last chapter and I'm really sorry for that but I have good news !! I will be editing and revising all previous chapters and I will post the new chapter soon.

I'm overwhelmed by the response that I've gotten on this story and I would never have imagined that so many people like it. Since I finished exams yesterday I'm gonna write a lot more this holiday. The reason I want to go back and edit and fix the previous chapters is because I don't feel that they are as good as can be. Too be too over informative I've had sex for the first time and experienced what Krista has in this story. I didn't plan for it to happen but it did and I feel that I can now understand better how to write this story and what Krista feels now. 

I'm quite a perfectionist and I want to write this story to the best of my abilities and bring it to the standard that I would like. Thank you all for hanging in there and liking my work. It really means a lot to me <3 so I am glad to edit, and post the new chapter :)


	5. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaay finally a new chapter :D As promised I have gone back and edited and revised all previous chapters, only small changes except for chapter 3 quite a lot of change there, I also rewrote the scene in the car with Eren and Krista, 
> 
> In this chapter the focus will be on Krista and her emotional etc struggle with recent events. Soooo I hope you guys enjoy it and maybe check out Therapy by All Time Low (I prefer the live from straight to dvd version) cause it gave me feels for this chapter.

My ship went down  
In a sea of sound.  
When I woke up alone I had everything  
A handful of moments I wished I could change  
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.

In a city of fools,  
I was careful and cool,  
But they tore me apart like a hurricane...  
A handful of moments I wished I could change  
But I was carried away.

Give me therapy.  
I'm a walking travesty  
But I'm smiling at everything.  
Therapy...  
You were never a friend to me  
And you can keep all your misery.

 

For Krista the past few days had been a haze of numbness, not really reacting to anything or anyone. On Saturday she woke up around one p.m and her body was even more sore than the night before. Her eyes were bloodshot and sore, her body full of bruises that she hid from everyone. At school the next Monday she kept her jersey on although it was practically sweltering and she avoided her friends. They knew that Krista didn't have the best relationship with her mother so they tended not to interfere. Eren had been calling her a lot but she let it go to voice mail after the second time. 

 

"Krista !" Eren had excitedly greeted her over the phone, she whispered his name in return. "I tried calling you before, is something wrong ?" he sounded concerned. Krista's throat was sore and her voice was hoarse, she had been crying continuously and it had taken its toll. "Eren." she wavered before continuing, "Eren, please stop calling me." her eyes started to burn, she gulped trying to quell the oncoming tears. "What ? Krista what are you talking about ?" he sounded slightly hurt. "I don't want you to feel like you have to be with me or something because we had sex. I get if it was a one time thing." she breathed heavily. "I'm not the girl that is someone's girlfriend so yeah ... I don't really want to be in a relationship so I'm sorry." His response was quick, "Krista what the fuck ? Why do you think that ? Is it because of your mother ?"

"No Eren... I just can't do this, and you'll leave anyway when you realize how fucked up I am, it's for the best." she inhaled sharply and quit the call.

Krista felt terrible, she really liked Eren and she hated saying those things to him but she didn't really have a choice. She couldn't drag him into her fucked up life, he could go find someone else that was way better and that would be a perfect girlfriend.

She felt like she was being a bit over dramatic but what she said was the truth, or partly the truth. Once Eren realized how fucked up she is and her life is he would run away and that would hurt the worst. Just like how everyone in her life left her. She did like Eren but she also couldn't help feeling that he only spent time with her because they had sex. Krista had never know a real relationship, she didn't let people get close enough. Somehow Eren had made it through. The only examples she had were broken marriages and relationships and parents that left, It was no wonder that she had problems with commitment and trust issues. 

She was supposed to be doing homework but since it was Monday she could do it later in the week, she instead put her earphones in her ears and listened to the melodies of her favourite songs hoping to feel a little relief. Up until this point she hadn't even really thought about losing her virginity and how she felt about it. To be honest she didn't even know how she felt, she didn't really feel any different but also completely different. She felt like a person who was totally someone else, her but not the girl she thought she would be. Did she feel guilty ? Maybe a little bit, mostly she felt empty. No one prepares you for what it actually is like losing your virginity. How it changes you as a person. All Krista knew was that she felt like something was missing. People always say that your first time is supposed to be with someone you love, and she didn't love Eren, maybe not yet but maybe she could have if they were ever together. 

She turned around in her bed and wondered what she had done to deserve a mother that hated her and a father left her. Had she done something terrible in a past life and was now being punished for it ? Christians always say to pray and believe and God will help you but no matter how much Krista prayed as a young girl God never made her mother stop abusing her, He didn't bring her father back. Why should she pray and ask Him for help when he let her live this awful life ? She was sick and tired of always trying to help people and be a good person and just being treated like shit. She didn't deserve it. She could feel her heartbeat rising with her anger. She was so fucking sick of all these people with their perfect lives telling her that everything would be okay when it never will be !

 

Around nine o'clock Krista decided that she needed to get out of the house before she committed suicide. She quietly crept downstairs to find her mother passed out on the couch with a bottle in her hand. She tiptoed past the living room and out the front door. She looked like a mess with bags under her eyes and her hair messily tied. She was wearing a jean and hoodie with sneakers, she started walking down the street, her breath came out in puffs in the cold air and she shoved her hands in her pockets. She let a small smile spread on her face as she felt the notes in her pocket, she knew where she was going. When Krista walked into the liquor store she made her way straight to the isle stocked with all the different vodkas. She wasn't exactly legal but if you have a fake ID you have anything. She left the store and opened the bottle taking a big swig, it burned her throat but fuck if it didn't make her feel better.

About half an hour had passed, she had finished most of the bottle while she walked aimlessly up the street. It was safe to say that she was quite drunk and she would be lying if she said she wasn't enjoying herself. She sang songs in her head and sometimes a little out loud as she walked. After she had just finished the bottle and thrown it away she came up to a bar, she fumbled in her pockets and happily found that she still had money. She grinned and walked through the entrance into the dimly lit bar, it was filled with people who seemed to be bikers donning bushy mustaches and arms full of tattoos. Krista decided that she needed to compose herself if she was gonna get anything at the bar. She straightened up and walked as balanced as she could, at the bar she ordered a shot of tequila and quickly downed it. She hopped onto a stool and rested on the bar, laying with her head in her arms. She failed to notice the burly guy that came up to her, when she finely noticed his presence she looked up and smiled back at him. He was a bit taller than Reiner and was covered in tattoos, the smile he gave Krista looked like one a pedophile might wear.

"Can I buy you a drink Missy ?" he drawled in his accent. Al though Krista was drink she knew better than accepting alcohol from strange guys.

"No thanks I'm fine, but thanks for offering." she smiled and turned back to the bar. 

"Come on now don't be like that." he laughed and moved annoyingly close to Krista. "just one drink ?" Krista felt that things could get worse if she didn't accept so she reluctantly did. The guy talked to the barman and she kept a careful eye on her drink. She knew about girl that had been spiked and raped and she wasn't planning on being one of them. 

The guy gave her a glass and she downed it, "Thanks for that but I need to go." she hurriedly got up but he blocked her path. "Now that there can be classified as rude lil Missy, I bought you a drink and the least you can do is have a lil conversation." his tone sounded threatening but he kept a smile plastered on is face. "I would really love to but it's getting late and I should get home before my roommate worries." she tried to get past him again but her wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 

"You're not understanding me Missy, you ain't leaving till I say so."

Krista was now genuinely panicking, she looked around for the bartender but he seemed to have vanished and no one else seemed to care about the situation that she was stuck in. Could no one see she was clearly uncomfortable and looking for help. The guy tried to corner her in further by trapping her between him and the bar, he was leaning in to kiss her and his hands were grabbing at her hips and ass. She took her chance and brought her knee up as hard as she could into his groin making him wheeze and stutter backwards. She needed to run so she did, she pushed past him and ran out the entrance. She looked up and down the street but no one was in sight, she turned around to find the guy stumbling out the entrance at her. She just wanted Eren to come save her. She screamed and backed away from him, he had lunged at her and grabbed her arm, tugging her close to him. A few seconds later he was ripped away from her by someone exiting the bar.

She was still drunk, in a haze and scared shitless but she could see that it was Ymir who came to her rescue. She grabbed the guy by his collar and slammed him into the ground after she punched him in the face so hard there were teeth flying. Krista was amazed and slightly terrified by Ymir's strength and skills, they guy was much taller than her and also bigger but she took him down with little effort. After she kicked him once for good measure she stood up straight glancing at Krista, she walked over to her and gave Krista her jacket before gently guiding her to her car. Ymir opened the door for Krista and let her get in before jogging around the car to the driver's side.

"Are you okay ?" she sounded sincere and gazed at Krista while waiting for an answer, "I was on my way out the bathroom when I saw that guy creeping on you, know one was helping you, just as I was about to come over I see you knee him in the balls and run off. I was impressed by such a petite girl." she laughed and gently touched Krista's arm, "but really are you alright ?"

"Yeah ... Yeah I guess I am" she replied after a while, Ymir could tell she was still in shock, "thank you so much for .. saving me, I don't know what would have happened."

"A good thing I was there then." she chuckled, "do you want me to take you home ?" 

Krista didn't respond immediately, she didn't know whether she should go home, they only reply was a shake of her head. "Well you can stay at my place if you'd like ?" to that Krista nodded. She wanted Eren to save her but it turns out Ymir was her knight in shining armour.

When they arrived at her flat Ymir opened the door for Krista and let her in. "It's not that great but it's home." She led Krista to the bedroom and showed her to the bed, "You can sleep here and I'll sleep on the sofa." she turned to exit but Krista had grabbed her hand.

"Stay with me." was all Krista said before getting in bed and motioning for Ymir to join her. When she got in Krista quickly snuggled up to her and she held the girl in her arms as she began to cry. Ymir wasn't the type to cuddle with anyone but she felt bad for Krista, and she couldn't deny that there was something that attracted Ymir to her.

 

Krista woke up the next morning in the same position in Ymir's arms. She felt strangely warm and at peace, she remembered that she had cried but she wasn't quite sure why. Ymir was still asleep, Krista smiled and decided to lay back in her arms for a while longer.


	6. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I am literally the worst at consistently updating. I really put the pro in procrastinate. but I hope you guys like this chapter and thanks for reading !

Deeply inhaling Ymir's musky scent Krista finally opened her eyes. She noticed that the brunette wasn't in the bed anymore when she heard muffled cursing from somewhere else in the flat. The blonde smiled and stretched, somehow the current situation felt natural to her, it felt good. She was laying in bed while Ymir was probably making breakfast and swearing because she probably hurt herself. Krista could blissfully daydream for a few minutes that this was her life. That this was her home and her love. Somewhere she could be happy with someone to protect her when they promised they would.

After she was snapped back to reality by the sound of clattering metal she jumped out of bed and searched for the tall girl, as suspected she found her in the kitchen, by the sink with her hand under running water. "Did you get hurt ?" she questioned quietly, leaning on the door frame.

"Oh hey, yeah I burned my hand on the pan." she grunted, "but it's not that bad" she turned and smiled at Krista. 

She walked over to Ymir and took her hand in her own, "Let me help you, do you have anything for burns ?" she asked, turning Ymir's hand palm side up. She went to the cupboard that Ymir indicated and retrieved ointment from it, squeezed some out and spread it softly over the scalded skin. Ymir hissed and ripped her hand away. "Don't be a baby ! How cold that hurt ?" Krista chuckled, "It'll feel better, just give me your hand." her lips pulled into a small smile. Ymir stuck out her hand and Krista gently took it, rubbing the cream into bronze skin. Being in such close proximity to Ymir reminded her of the first night they met, the way Ymir pushed her against the wall and her scorching lips on her skin. She thought of how Ymir made her felt, in that dark hallway, and her cheeks started to warm with a pinkish tint. Krista wondered if Ymir still remembered their first meeting, she looked up into golden eyes and her breath caught in her throat. Her hand had stopped moving, now it just rested in Ymir's. Time seemed to stand still again and she could feel the brunette's breath on her skin. It seemed that in no time at all their bodies had moved flushed against each other, Krista drew in a deep breath and bit her lip.

Softly, slowly Ymir pressed her lips against Krista's. She wrapped her arms around the shorter girl and pulled her closer, Krista smiled standing on her toes to deepen the kiss. She pulled away from Ymir before leaning back and catching her bottom lip in her teeth, she tugged causing the tanned girl to hum in delight. Ymir kissed along Krista's jaw and down her neck, nipping at soft, milky skin and sucking at the sweet spot just above her collarbone. A soft moan escaped Krista's throat, vibrating against Ymir's lips, "Did you like that ?" the mouth that caressed her skin inquired. The blonde nodded and tugged the other girl back up, kissing her fervently. Ymir took this as her cue and hoisted Krista onto the counter before parting the girl's thighs and pulling her closer. She drew her tongue and her lips along all the places she remembered Krista liked. Krista sighed deeply and tugged at Ymir's shirt to expose lean muscle and scarred brown skin. She ran her fingers along the ridges in Ymir's muscles and swept her hands over her sides, Ymir bit her lip to suppress a moan, "Don't do that unless you want me to go crazy." she teased, pulling Krista close for a rough kiss. Krista laughed and continued to tickle Ymir's skin, she wanted to feel her hot skin against her own. She didn't know what it was about this girl that made it feel like a fire was lit inside her body, she hasn't ever felt that way about someone, to be honest Eren also made her feel that way but it was different than with Ymir. 

"Shit." it came out quicker than she could stop it, why was she thinking about Eren now ? Maybe because she felt bad about what happened and lying to him ? No stop thinking about that now ! Inner conflict was a bitch, all she wanted to think about now was the girl between her legs and how hot she was and how badly she wanted to be touched by her. 

"Is something wrong ?" Ymir asked looking into her eyes.

"N-nothing, I just thought about someo- thing, something. Forget about it, just kiss me." she quickly tried to change the subject.

"I won't say no to that." Ymir smirked. Their lips locked and this time it was rougher than before, tongues pulling and pushing, teeth bumping and hands tugging at clothes. "Do, you, want, to, go , to , the room ?" she asked between kisses and bites. After Krista nodded, she wrapped the smaller girl's legs around her waist and carried her to the bedroom. They finally crashed on the bed after bumping against the walls and pulling off each others clothes. Krista gasped when Ymir pushed her down and ground flush against her, kissing and sucking her neck. Her hands traveled down pale skin and soft thighs, Krista's eyes shut as she moaned at Ymir's touches and kisses.

~

Krista smiled when Ymir kissed her forehead, she enjoyed how they lay there, skin touching skin and legs tangled. She could stay there forever with the late afternoon sun lazily beaming through the curtains and a soft breeze creating goosebumps on her exposed skin. "Uh... there's something that I wanted to ask." she whispered.

"Mm what is it ?" she turned to look at Krista.

"Never mind, it's not important." she yawned.

"Come on, what was it ?" Ymir questioned her.

"Okay, uh, what is this ?" she hesitated, "this is stupid.. Hm, like what is going on with us ?" internally she was punching herself in the face, why did she bring this up ?

"Hmm, good question" Ymir chuckled, "I don't know, we're just having fun. I don't really do relationships." She looked a bit stern, "friends with benefits type open thing. Sometimes we wanna do stuff with each other so we do and go on with our lives. No attachments or strings."

"Okay, I've just never done something like this" she paused "but I want to."

Then Ymir kissed her again, chaste but firm.

 

"I'll be right back, I just need to get some stuff and then we can leave." she quickly got out of the car and steeled herself before facing her mother. Sasha had invited Krista to live with her after she found out how her mother beat her. Krista almost cried that day, she couldn't be more thankful to get away from her mother and to live somewhere she was treated like a person. But she knew her mother would be viciously furious because she had been gone longer than a day. She entered the house as quietly as possible and tip-toed to her room. Her mother was nowhere in sight and this unsettled her. After quickly throwing clothes in a suitcase, and the one photo she had of her and her mother looking happy, she sighed heavily and made her way to the front door.

"Where the hell are you going ?" a bitter voice rang behind her, her mother.

"I'm leaving, and why do you care ? You hate me ! You've hated me my entire life !" Krista shouted.

"I never hated you, baby please, you're my daughter and I love you. I gave up my entire life for you" her mother started crying. Krista felt a pain in her heart, all she ever wanted was for her mother to love her and to have a normal life. "I'm so sorry, please don't go. Come give me a hug and we can sort things out. I never meant to treat you the way I did." she pleaded. Krista was weary but she stepped closer, after all this is what she wanted, her mother to love her. She stepped into her mother's arms to hug her. "Stupid bitch !" her mother bit and yanked her by her hair, "you think you're going anywhere ?" she venomously laughed. Krista screamed out in pain, she was thrown against the wall, her mother hit her head against the wall and she could feel her breath burn in her ears. "You are not going anywhere !!!" Tears were streaming from Krista's eyes, how foolish could she have been ? She pulled all her strength together, she had had enough. With a hard push, she shoved her mother against the table next to them, she lost her balance and fell on top of it before rolling onto the floor. 

"Fuck. You." she spat with so much hate. So much for this woman who ruined her life and her father for leaving her. She picked up the suitcase and walked to the door, surprised to see Ymir standing there in the doorway.

"You were taking a bit long so I thought to come check. I saw some of the bruises that were healing so I figured... Are you okay ?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah I'm fine, thanks" she tried a weak smile, "Sasha's house isn't far from here."

After they stopped in front of the house, Krista thanked Ymir, kissed her on the cheek and got out. She stood on the sidewalk and watched her drive away. She didn't know what it was, but Ymir had a way of making her, or more her heart feel different. She went into the house, sighed and leaned against the door. Maybe now her life could be a bit easier. Her presumption was a bit quick when she saw Sasha, Connie and ... Eren in the lounge. What the hell was he doing here ? She stood like a deer in the headlights.

"Hey Krista !" Sasha smiled nervously, "Connie and Eren came over, I guess I forgot to mention ?" she scratched her head and kept smiling. 

"Uh.. I'm .. Uhm, wh- ?" was all she managed to stammer before Connie thankfully broke the tension.

"Uh Sasha, I'm hungry so let's go make something to eat." He rushed and pulled her up and away, leaving Krista alone with Eren.

"Eren before you say anythi-" she started but was cut off by him, he quickly rose from the couch and planted his lips on hers. She was stunned to say the least, he cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. It was soft and sweet making her stomach half-flip, her hands rested on his chest. She pulled away and took a deep breath, "What are you doing ? Aren't you mad at me ?"

"Krista, I can't be mad at you, I know you said what you did because of your mother. I didn't want to make things harder for you, because I really like you. And I know you like me too." he sighed and took her hands in his, "I hope ... You do right ?" Krista laughed, of course she liked him but everything was so confusing with Ymir and him and her mother.

"Yeah I do like you, but things are complicated..." she trailed off. There was no way she was going to tell him about her and Ymir. She did say that it was just a no strings attached thing and they had their own lives, so why couldn't she also be with Eren. Well she kind off felt bad because she would be lying to him but he would never know, and who's to say that they would even date ? "I really like you, but I've never really been in a relationship and I'm scared of that type of commitment."

"What ? Who said anything about a relationship ?" he stared at her before laughing, she looked a bit shocked and embarrassed, "just kidding ! I do want to date you, when you're ready." He kissed her on the forehead, both cheeks and her chin before grazing her lips with his. He softly bit her lip and opened her mouth, kissing her and exploring the inside of her mouth with his tongue. She thought about how Ymir kissed her earlier, immediately she scolded herself. She thought about Eren when she was with Ymir and Ymir when she was with Eren.

She tried to focus only on Eren and how he held her and the way he smelled. They pulled apart to see Connie and Sasha eavesdropping from around the corner, they quickly scrambled to act as if they had just been casually sitting. Krista let out a laugh that came from her stomach. She was lucky to have such good friends, more importantly she was grateful for them. With her entire heart. Before she met Eren, Ymir and Connie and everyone else, she never would have thought that her life could get so interesting or complicated. But she had a feeling that things might change for the better. They spent the rest of the day playing video games, watching movies and just enjoying each others company. Eren even manged to steal quite a few kisses from her. Near the end of the night they just sat together holding hands, kissing and giggling and in that moment she swore that she could almost imagine that this is what her life was always like. Full of happiness.

Though at the back of her mind she couldn't help but wonder what Ymir was doing or who she was with.


End file.
